Gearing back up...

Baie St. Paul light - sigh

Hi guys! Summer's winding down and CAN YOU BELIEVE IT - school starts in just 3 days. That's it? Yup. Here comes autumn; stews, leaves, Halloween costumes, dark.

I love Autumn.

Our summer was good - it was weird. We took a bunch of different trips out of the city which were all good - and ... weird. Those of you who know me know that sometimes my neck freezes up and I am pretty much a plank of nerves and pain for days and weeks at a time. This condition was bad for many years (6 or 7) and then it disappeared more or less for a few years, rearing it's very unwelcome head only now and again to remind me when I was working too hard, sleeping too little, or carrying my "little" guy too much.

neck traction

Well, it came back this summer and I've spent many days in excruciating pain - but why the 3 times I was away?! So hard to manage without my piles of ice packs, heat packs, ointments and stuff at home. The third and most recent time was a pretty bad one, when we were in the middle of nowhere. I had to go to an emergency room to get some good painkillers and muscle relaxants, which worked but to which I had a really bad reaction days later, again in the middle of nowhere. More hospitals. More drugs. Gah.

I need a detox.

Low tide in Charlevoix

(Or do I? No, I think I need to start swimming and stretching and laying on ice regularly like I used to. Goddam central nervous system.)

Our trailer for 5 days - so much awesome!

BUT! Guess what? We rented a huge camper trailer in Baie St. Paul at Camping du Gouffre, where we got married 9 years ago, and it was so wonderful that I didn't care that I couldn't turn my head very much or move my left arm, or feel my left hand. We had so much fun, and I spent lots of time swimming in the frigid waters with the kids, Sylv, and my wonderful mom who accompanied us on our holidays. (Ya, I've got one of those laid back moms that you can take on vacation with your husband and kids. Thanks Mom!)

Flo digging in the riverbank

Back at home, I looked forward to feeling rested and happy while I smiled at my children and lovingly wrote their names in marker on all of their school supplies.

Turns out even after vacation, I'm still a Totally Crabby Mom. My neck, shoulders, collarbone and armpits are all swollen and raw-nerved, I have to sleep sitting up on the couch, and I'm weaning myself off the good drugs so ... yeah. I really can't wait till the kids start school Monday and I have a teeny tiny pang pulling at the underbelly of my heart for feeling so. (Seriously, will I survive without Lenny by my side all day?)

Grape eyes at the chalet

Another highlight for me while away was the visit from my bro-in-law and his lovely little family. They foster a MIRA dog (actually the spokes dog for Mira in Chicoutimi) - an insanely beautiful 115 pound bag of fur and love. I spent lots of time with this dog and remembered the great energy I get from (giant smelly) dogs. They also brought their 3 month old Burmese Mountain dog who is a total shit disturber but so cute I actually feel the saliva pooling in my mouth when I look at her. (The first time I saw her I grabbed her and hugged her and she took my entire nose in her mouth and filled it with the prickly needles of it's baby teeth.)

Mira's Spokesdog, Velcro at the river with me after a swim

But being in the forest, full of river water hair and sand, cooking and playing with dogs with family and friends, I felt good in a way we just don't get to feel in our everyday lives. It was like a concentrated dose of the summer I missed while working alongside the kids and snapping at them every 10 minutes.

Anyway. To all of those people I have whined to these past days, I'm sorry and thank you. I love my children. Staying at home with them was an insane choice I don't regret at all. I  tear up thinking about leaving Lennon with his teacher Monday. But you know how it is...

The parallel feelings of parenting amiright?